My body never really fit in once puberty hit.
So why did loving my masculine features trigger such deep questions about my gender? And that is exactly where my confusion originated. The attributions are extremely varied, just as they are for men and women.
#NON BINARY GENDER EUPHORIA FULL#
You adopt more of an androgynous style/appearance and really love the way you look and feel.Ī non-binary body might be curvy, might be muscular, might have a full bust, might have a square jaw.You avoid exploring gender because you’re afraid you’ll like it.I chased this gender euphoria for months and talked myself down from any larger implications. Sports-bra swim top paired with swim trunks? Yep. I kept making guesses at what else could make me feel this newfound sense of love. For the first time, I fell in love with my body. By summer, I broke into a stash of boys’ sleeveless shirts that I salvaged from the donation pile years ago. I stopped shaving my legs out of laziness and lack of contact with the world. I bought a set of small dumbbells and started regularly working out as one of my many quarantine activities. I became conscious of my own gender identity at the start of COVID scares (April 2020 for me). My gender identity grew muddled and unclear, I lack confidence calling myself cisgender, I loved exploring new gender expressions, and that curiosity led to where I am now: a non-binary person in my mid-20s.įor transparency and for others wondering if they could be non-binary, I am an out lesbian assigned female at birth (AFAB).
Like many, months of COVID isolation in 2020 sparked a journey of gender discoveries.
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